To Finisher #21,
“I wasn’t around to see you kicked off at the starting line, but as I promise, I was there to see you crossed km 102, I saw you almost limping in terrible pain and you still have 58 more kilometers to go! I knew then, you would be running with your heart! You said I am the only person who could decide if you must DNF but yeah right, no one could make you come to halt, at that point in time….” – excerpts from NOTES OF A PACER @ BDM 160 (Jan. 28-29, 2012) Pacer of Bib# 60

There are times in your life where hard work just doesn’t cut it…. When WILL POWER isn’t just quite enough; And the travails of the race requires a higher octane… Where the inevitable overcomes the will… Stripping it down to your core…
This is a story of one of those times…
I would begin my story 2 weeks before D-day of BDM160. As I was preparing myself mentally and physically for my greatest race of my life when lady luck turned its back on me… I was doing the Cebu Marathon when at km 36, I landed my right foot on a crack on the pavement that resulted into a minor sprain…So I thought… I never made a big deal about it but since my scheduled physical examination was up I had it checked. Then, the results came in a week that devastated me… That minor sprain was in fact a recurring injury that I delevoped over the months of training I did or rather when I was still fat… a hairline fracture in my ankle… I could almost breath the air of competition only to be crushed by a serious ankle injury… My doctor advised me not to run… That hurt a lot… emotionally….

Cebu Marathon 2012
I was overtrained…
But I was determined to race…This was my stubborn side talking…I never told anyone nor uttered a word of my injury until the final meeting of my support crew a few days before the race… I figured that they should know and I told them only KC can decide if I am to DNF or not… I trusted her more than myself…
With all the burden of expectation from friends and family for me to race I had no choice but to push through(again, this is my stubborn side thinking) The original plan to run a sub 22 hours to finish was just a bleak memory now… So I adjusted my pace plan to a sub 24 hours I remembered my last long run that I covered 136km in 19 hours without support so I thought I could do this… Mental toughness,the ability to endure pain and suffering and more importantly my heart will be my strength at the starting line…
But the thought of my injury kept haunting me like an 800 pound gorilla behind my back. I said to myself I would be like racing blind… I don’t know what to expect… I couldn’t sleep for 3 days prior to race day…
BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER…
I know that every single moment that my mind was restless… my body will surely be restless too… It always comes back to take what it gives… It will bite you in the head…
ROAD TO GROUND ZERO
Team KB was divided into 4 groups. My home team HBK ( Ate Glo, Phoebe, Beth, Zarina, Dyep, Aileen, Micky, Leo, Mona, together with friends Tita Susan and Jixee was sub-divided into 3 support vehicles while another close friends of mine the OK OK Runners Ate Annaly, Otek, Enrique,Jsin, Phillip and Edrick Would be the last group.
Team HBK would bunk it out , rest in a place Dyep provided at KM 50 while the OK OK Runners would just meet me at the starting line… Beth , Jixee and KC will just follow at race day at KM 102 pitstop during the race…

Getting ready for the big race
As the time grew near, as we prepare for the race, Dyep and Aileen helped me put on plasters on my right foot. I remember what Aileen said when I was putting on my right shoe… I screamed desperately! I was already in pain even before the race even started.
Aileen: “KUYA, I’m worried… How can you run a 160 kilometer with that foot injury? You are just putting on your shoe and it already hurts?”
I just looked at her and just smirked and said:
KB: “All is good…”
And then she did the nicest thing that made that smirk turn into a smile… She wrote on the plaster that says : “KB, Goodluck!” along with that she drew a smile and a heart then said:
Aileen: “ We will be there for you in every step you make until you reach the finishline…”

Me with Dyep

BDM Ultrarunners... spoiled to the bone

Hope that would do the trick....

Luck, I'll need all of it...
After that, we were primed and ready… We drove to Mariveles’ starting line for the race to meet up with OK OK Runners who were in-charge of support from KM00 to KM50.
As we were travelling to KM00, I could see the BDM kilometer post as we cruise by each one. I was nostalgic… So many dreams have died on these roads and others realized… Ultrarunners before me have challenged the behemoth . Finding a way to deal to race more than what is expected to because your body is not capable of going beyond what you are physically and mentally prepared for… “”Will I be one of those few great men and women who will conquer ?or those who dared but just wasnt enough?” … You cant make a more sharper turn in your life than making it to the finishline…That is why they say it feels the way it does when you do cross it… for some, they do make it look easy… for most… know its anything but easy… You’ll have to go through heat, humidity and hell to get there… This is a magical place for anyone who dared to commit to a dream and dared to go forth
Ground Zero
How many of us can truly treasure the experience of a single day that does not involve a birth or marriage that is so special, that you remember each moment vividly in your mind… a start of something so profound it shakes you to the bone… For 78 runners, this day is as astonishing as it was just being there at the starting line. The road to immortality starts now…
Everyone was there…the who’s who of our running community… The legends… soon to be legends… our idols… and elites were all lined up at the KM00 BDM post… Truly a magnificent sight…
All confident… All dialed in…

Happy faces at KM00

Sleepy head already...

KB @KM 00
But the first sign of trouble came from a phone call… as if lack of sleep and a fractured right foot wasn’t enough to start with, Otek, the team leader of OK OK Runners for my support from KM00 to KM50 delivered me the bad news… They had a flat tire and was stuck in Mexico Pampanga but assured me that they will follow and will just be late for a couple of hours. I just said “It’s ok…(no pun intended) I can manage the first 30km… just get here safely…”
So the cow bell rang signaling the start of the race of our lives… the race is on… each man takes a measure of the other…

KM 00-KM21 (The building up of a monster that wants to destroy what I’ve built)
So I ran… I did what I have done last year… The road was familiar now… but this time I ran much wiser and much careful not to burn-out early in the race… I paced with the legend Victor Ting for the first 4 kilometers but I had a much faster pace and lost him at the steep incline until km 10 where its flat… I saw a number of support vehicles who cheered for every runner that passes… The longest street party ever had just began….

The legendary Victor Ting in the middle with another legend Ben Gaetos
But at KM 15, I felt so sleepy…slowed down a bit… those caffeine shots and chocolates before I left our resting point(Dyep’s house) Did not work at all in fact gave me a bad stomach instead… I know it was a band-aid solution at that time but I had to do something to keep me awake… I know this was inevitable…but it never crossed my mind that this will come this early in the race…The MONSTER …The fear of not being able to finish the race has daunted me….and it is gearing its ugly head behind my back to soon…
But that was the least of my worries at that time… I was being careful about my stride not to put much weight on my right foot because of my injury. So I shifted the weight of my body to my left foot and run somewhat unorthodoxly…
A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES
Near the KM18 post, I noticed at a distance a couple of cheerers and supporters doing a song and dance number what seemed to be a Hawaiian “Hula” dance… as I approached them, It was my OK OK Runners support! I was elated! Now I have proper support … They all cheered for me and Ate Annaly was even shouting: “KC will be waiting for you at KM102 so you better not keep her waiting!!!”
This gave me strength to push….

OK na OK

na ok
THE MONSTER THAT WON’T GO AWAY… AND BROUGHT FRIENDS
After that funny moment it got serious… way serious…. Although I have my support with me already, my clothes, socks and shoes was at the HBK support vehicle in which Dyep and Aileen needed to hook up with the OK OK Runners to give my stuff… I ran patiently and waited for the hook up and managed to retain my pace… controlled … but I was not used on putting the whole weight of my body into my right leg .This resulted to a blister on my left foot the size of a small tomato. Just like a tomato, It was juicy and bloody red…. And when I changed socks, It was all too visual…

Ouch!

Ouch again...
To make matters worse, the lack of sleep was getting the better of me… I became drowsy and grumpy…

Antok pa....
I was having one of those days where you think you are not running fast enough and you think of quitting but at the back of your mind a voice keeps telling you that you are already in the race and there is no quitting… Just tough it out and see where it gets me

rare moment.... KB all smile... no smirk...:D

salt... ultrarunner's best friend

Smile kunwari pero masakit na...

KM22 –KM 50
To finish a race this hard you need everything to go your way and on that day, it’s not happening for me… In fact, it was going the other way… I tried to consume as much sugar and carbs as I can to help keep me running and awake but resulted only from bad stomach to worst… From KM 22 to KM 40 I had 4 CR breaks that I reckon was a loss of a 40minute time…
My stomach finally improved at KM41 where I picked up the pace… Strategy played a tug-of-war on how I felt then and how hard I need to push for lost time on the first 50km… Still I was determined to put up a fight…

hmmmp....

Ooops... May camera pala kailangan ko mag smile....
At KM 50, I was so glad to see my Team HBK… The first thing that I uttered to them was “Tell KC I’m ok… she need not to worry… I can do this” Then had a short 15minute break to eat my lunch, changed socks(which I do every 20km) and went back running.

Where's my lunch?

Enrique was drumming up a beat
50km to 102 (The Takedown)
Every shuffle puts pain in my right foot the moment I hit the road… This was the hottest part of the race. The drizzling rain had stopped and the sun is at its peak. It’s not just my lungs that are burning… My feet was on fire as well… Burning in my shoes… My right foot was in severe pain again after running about 5km more so had to powerwalk once in a while. I am still battling the urge to fall asleep and leg cramps now was the primary concern.


A little to the right please...

There are no sure things in Ultraruns… When things just don’t go your way, you just have to gut it out and survive… At km 80 my body at that time was beginning to show signs of serious fatigue…

May sumusunod pa ba?

refreshing

push it real good

"Why am I doing this?"

Yup, no MMDA in sight... KB is half naked again...
My support crew HBK was my savior at that stage of the race… Motivating me to keep on pushing and provided me with the will to run… They were so efficient … like an F1 pit crew they move in synchronized fashion .They really know their business. At that point in time, I realized something… Then I realized BDM 160 isn’t really an individual race… It’s a family sacrifice… and each one will share the memories… For letting me complete something that I can share to them right now they might havent realize it yet… but one day… one day it will be soon be crystal clear…

BDM Support: What their friends think they do....

What their parents think they do...

What society thinks they do...

What they think they do....

What they actually do....

and do....

and do....

and do.... (just kidding guys!
)
At KM 90, It was cold now since night has started but I was trying to cool down a overheating motor… My body was beginning to take its toll… I could feel it… I was beginning to feel feverish and my feet hurt like hell from blisters and injury but still pushed hard… It was all part of one energy calculation how much do you want to have left after KM102 pitstop… But at that moment, all I wanted was to see her waiting for me at 102…
And then like a surreal dream, I heard a familiar voice screaming… and at a distance I saw a car pulled at the right side of the road and a shadow appeared… I thought I was hallucinating… But as the shadow becomes clearer into a figure…. It was her!!!…. Jumping out of the car then she ran towards me and gave me a kiss… I sighed… I was relieved… people around us became ecstatic and started clapping… I just whispered to her “ I love you…” and gave her a hug… and then she said” I love you too…You can do it… I believe in you…a couple of kilometers more…”
The doubt of what I was then is now gone. I ran passing through 3 runners … It got my second wind… Although I felt so sleepy and tired and my whole body at that time was beginning to crumble … I still managed to dig a little deeper and reached KM102… Finally….Now, the end game starts…
THE ROAD TO PERDITION (KM103-KM150)
When you reach your limit you try to figure out a way to get around it and succeed. I was successful in reaching KM 102 despite the injuries and mishaps that transpired… It was hard… I was not in my best shape to start with… but still, the fighter in me wouldn’t throw in the towel as well…. Played hard-ball with my body and won… but the big unknown is still yet to be conquered… I still need to do 58 kilometers to reach Capas, Tarlac… I was in no shape to run already but I never uttered a word or showed them signs of giving-up… I showed courage under fire for them to not lose hope and in return would give me the will to finish the race… But I was beginning to doubt myself at that point..
“How much can my body take of this beating before it breaks down completely?” I was beginning to worry…
As I enter the most pivotal part of the race, I was having doubts if my legs could survive another 58 kilometers… I started walking… not power walk nor brisk walk.. Just a slow walk… Tita Susan who was my first 10km pacer was ready but I couldn’t run… I just told her I need more time to relax my muscles… Little that she knew that the pain was already excruciating….but I was determined to put up a straight face to them… I never intended to let them see me weak… I saw a number of runners pass though but that doesn’t matter to me anymore… The pain was unbearable…
THE SUM OF ALL MY FEARS (The Monster has finally beaten me down…)
My biggest competition at that moment was what my mind and body was telling my heart… Every inch of fiber in my body was telling me to stop… My fever was getting worse… I had to wear my jacket just to stop the shivering… My feat was in a really bad state… Every 100 meters we would stop and Enrique, one of my crew would massage my legs… My crew decided its best if Enrique would be the pacer since he knows massage therapy that helped me a lot since km50…
We walked … But every step was pain in my legs and feet… I was like a zombie…. My whole crew never stopped cheering me to go on but I can feel that they are already worried… And at KM105, I stopped and asked them to take off my shoes and check…. I have bruises and blisters on my toes and in the base of my feet… My feet was swollen… They tried to take off the plasters to replace it but the pain of it was just too much for me… I asked them to just put it on top of the other and put back my shoes but there was no way to put my shoes back on… the pain was too great…
Then a thought came in… Enrique was only wearing slippers at that time. I asked if I could borrow it which he gladly obliged… This solved the problem of the constant pain in my toes… But again… It was a band aid solution….
And then at KM107…. My body finally gave in…
Sometimes, you wonder if there is a hole too deep to climb out of… this was it… I couldn’t feel my legs… I saw this one coming
I called Beth’s mobile to talk to KC to come back for me… in a short while they came rushing…
KB: “I couldn’t feel my legs babe… I think this is it…. And I’m too sleepy to go on…”
KC: “ You just rest for a while everything’s gonna be ok…”
When you need it most your body doesn’t match the spirit … I couldn’t look her in the eyes… I don’t want her to see me weak…But I can feel in her voice that that she was already crying… As I laid my head on her lap and rest, holding her hand I wondered… “ I’m beat… My body is not responding anymore… Is it possible that this body can run even further? Or this is as hard as my body can go?..” I don’t have the answer and then I dozed off…
After a while I overheard Jixee say “25 minutes is up Mish! You have to wake him up…” and then KC asked for a little more time but Jixee said it would stiffen my legs even more… So I stood up… remarkably, I could feel my legs back again but still there was agonizing pain….
As I started walking again, I glanced at KC as she was looking at me at by the window of Beth’s car as they pass through me for the next pit stop… Saw tears in her eyes…
I paused…
took a breather…
then walked again…
walked slowly…
One step in front of the other… Walking turned into small but fast steps… then realized I was running again!!! Every step I took developed pain that was reminiscent… It hurt physically with all that pounding. Pushing myself until there is nothing left. I was stripped to the core but I was silencing all the voices in my head… Everything in my body was telling me to stop but my heart says just keep on going!!! Scrapping the bottom of my soul…. I was exorcising the demon from within…. With a pair of bandaged-slippers…
I’m running with my heart now…. When I reached my pitstop I didn’t even stopped… everyone was surprised that I was still running in a 6 minute per kilometer pace average … This made them flipped out of their feet and started yelling my name…
After a couple of minutes I saw a runner in front of me… I zeroed in and made the pass… Every kilometer KC would tell me how many meters the next runner was in front of me… She’s smiling now…Screaming like a little kid… I smiled back… I was digging deep as ever… I was challenging what is ahead but the clock doesn’t lie… I was running out of time and still there are around 50 kilometers more to cover…
Every runner I see, I look for a weakness… and there it was… a pause… it is that slight pause that I always made the pass…
At around less than 40 kilometers to go, KC decided to pace me… I was still running strong but I was suppressing the voice of doubt which screams as I explore the limits of every part of my body… Sharp rocks pushed through my slippers but I didn’t care… I had to finish what I have started.
“As a pacemaker, I could only do so much. We were running on the side of the road where practically every corner has a sign that says “accident prone area.” Truck, busses, private cars zoomed past before us; I had to be vigilant in keeping us safe from those dangerous vehicles. The road was rough, small sharp rocks were a mess and sand was just everywhere. That made it so hard for you to run since your feet were wrapped with tape, wearing slippers” - excerpts from NOTES OF A PACER @ BDM 160 (Jan. 28-29, 2012) Pacer of Bib# 60
She kept encouraging me to run… passing a couple of more runners along the stretch… My body was breaking up again but still, she wouldn’t let me quit… It was a magical moment for us that I would forever cherish
THE LAST 10 KM TO THE FINISHLINE
When we reach Capas, Tarlac I was disoriented… My timex GPS watch was not accurately showing the correct distance because it was reset at the mad scuffle at KM120. No one in my team could actually tell what kilometer we were… When we reached the grand Obelisk , Someone told us its about 5 kilometers more before the turn around which is uphill then back the finishline… I couldn’t believe it! I thought we were already there… more or so I just wished… I was already limping and wanted to rest again but she wouldn’t let me. She kept telling me to never stop and the finish line was just a couple of kilometers more… I felt that I didn’t have anything more to give since my feet was in a horrific state because of the sharps rocks that gutted me on that mad rush to Capas… We passed a couple of more runners until we reached the turnaround point… 5 kilometers to go…
So we ran again running about 3 kilometers more… passing yet another runner… This is it I said… the epic battle was about to end…
“But really, I didn’t know why I slowed down, and when you asked me why, I said it was your moment and I will just follow. I couldn’t really tell you what’s on my mind because I was awestruck as we near the obelisk. I was processing the whole experience that’s too hard to even grasp. I felt all your pain just by looking at your eyes, down to your feet. Nevertheless, it was your big heart that made all the difference” – excerpts from NOTES OF A PACER @ BDM 160 (Jan. 28-29, 2012) Pacer of Bib# 60
At the last 2 kilometers before to the grand Obelisk I said to her “Let finish this!” My body provides one last dagger of pain to pull away… I literally gritted my teeth for that last push…
But when I looked back… I saw her pause…
I asked her:
KB: “What’s wrong?”
KC: “You go ahead… It’s your moment… Leave me behind I’ll just follow…”
KB: “It’s OK… let’s just walk…I promised you I’ll cross that finishline no matter what…despite all of the odds…I value you more than a silver buckle…Let’s cross it together… Yes it’s my moment… and I wanna share it with you…”
As we walked, a number of runners passed us by… but it didn’t matter to me anymore…
“As we approached the grand obelisk, I couldn’t believe it, the finale was too sweet to fathom. It has shaken everyone’s core beyond doubt and I was in so much awe as I let you crossed the finish line, you conquered the seemingly insurmountable ultra distance, the 160 km, that is, despite all the odds. All that you’ve worked hard for has definitely paid off and yes; the silver buckle’s all yours for the taking. Congratulations, it was a journey I’d forever cherish!” - excerpts from NOTES OF A PACER @ BDM 160 (Jan. 28-29, 2012) Pacer of Bib# 60
Every man has a different definition of winning… For me, knowing that I gave my best and shared it… that’s a victory for me…




We, along with Ate Glo, Dyep, Phoebe,Zarina,Aileen,Micky,Leo,Mona, BoyP, Tita Susan,Otek,Ate Annaly, Enrique,Jsin, Phillip and Edrick and all the people who participated as runners and support crews are forever bonded for the drama that we shared that fateful day that we will have forever….

Thank you so much...
So when someone ask me how hard BDM160 was?
I would tell them.. “You have no Idea until you try it yourself…”


It’s not easy to be a member of BDM160 silver buckle club
If you do get in…. You are a member for life….